It is important for you to realise that, even with good advice, having success with online dating will still take an effort on your part. Online dating can at times be confusing and sometimes it can also be discouraging, but if you are committed to finding that special someone, it is possible to have success. The important thing is always to persevere through both the ups and downs.
It’s quite possible that you may find stages of online dating…well, depressing. Please don’t expect to sign-up, send a few emails and find the love of your life; although this is possible it doesn’t normally happen, so please don’t treat online dating as the magic, instant answer to being single. One thing I did when meeting dates was to actually discuss my online dating experiences with my dates. Several women described feeling very discouraged at times and even said that they’d considered giving up online dating (a feeling I had occasionally myself early on). This shouldn’t depress you. I am simply trying to show you that many people experience this and suggesting that quitting might not be the best option just because things don’t go perfectly straight off. So here are some thoughts on getting over the rough patches:
From the women I’ve talked to, the biggest problem a lot of women have is that some guys can be real jerks (I’ve obviously heard worse words than this!). Although this can be also true in the outside world it is possibly more so online. The anonymity of the web empowers some people to act horribly when they wouldn’t in normal situations. For instance, I’ve been told by one friend that men she has contact with start off charming, but then start using sexual innuendo in their messages. When she didn’t respond in kind, they stopped writing, or even became abusive! (Mind you, this was on one of the free dating sites, which I don’t recommend as they have little or no moderation of members). But hey, you’ve probably met creeps like this in normal everyday life; they’re not exclusive to online dating. It’s just a shame that if you decide to quit online dating because of one or 2 incidences like this, imagine all the lovely guys you’ll never meet because of the one loser you did talk to.
If you end up being contacted in the same manner as the woman above, try a paid/membership service rather than a free dating site. I tend to find that where people have spent money, they tend to be far more serious and mature about their dating goals. Remember, with most sites you are still able to join & browse for free; you won’t pay a penny unless a man you would like to chat with contacts you. Paid sites also have extensive customer care teams that moderate messages & ensure that abusive or spam messages are filtered out.
The first few weeks (or months in my case) are likely to be the roughest. If you can stick around through this period, you’re well on your route to success. Be willing to frequently you contact new women but always be kind in the actual communication. If you’re experiencing frustration with your dating, do NOT let it come through in any of the communications and definitely don’t become so disillusioned that you contact every single woman without even looking at her profile If you feel you’re getting nowhere, then take a break & come back to it when you feel more open to trying. As per the outside world, it is likely that you are going to have to make an effort to contact women, although saying that, it is also possible that a woman will feel more comfortable contacting you first via this method, than in a bar etc..
You may also find it helpful to sign up with more than one service & try a different approach to your profile on each. Obviously, don’t make anything up, but perhaps focus on your character & emotions on one & your leisure time & activities on another. My experience when online dating was that like buses, my dates either were completely absent, or came along three at a time!! I either had no dates or I was swimming in them. I signed up for 2 services and sometimes one service would seem a complete loss, when the other was providing lots of contacts; then it would turn around!
Hope you will find this information helpful and remember: success with online dating is possible, but only with persistence!